Well, I’m most certainly not talking about the original meaning from the hip hop classic 😉
What I refer to is other people’s problems. When you have a kid that can’t do so many things, and it ripples through your life with waves so high it can feel like a dozen passes from a tsunami; you tend to develop a negative outlook about other people’s problems. You play the battle, and do your best not to grow bitter with the world around you. Now I’m not going to rant on as though I think that people don’t have problems just by being alive in this world because I know that isn’t true. Everyone’s problems tend to be the most important problems in the room. I can’t see any reason why they shouldn’t be. They are their own problems. The ones they contend with from day-to-day whether someone creates them on their own, or they are forced upon them, they are very real.
Nonetheless I found a post I made a while back and thought it would be fun to share. It was one of those days in the middle of the series of bad days. One where I finally had to get it out after hearing all the complaining parents at work and cookouts. I’ll warn you it’s vulgar, but maybe people who deal with issues like mine could relate.
Monkey had to stay at his mom’s last night… So I had Mater still. I got to go to bed at a normal time, I got to wake up and get myself ready…. And that’s it’s. That’s all I had to do. I didn’t have to dress anyone, change anyone, make anyone eat, make anyone get in bed fifty times, give anyone medicine, and no one clawed my neck or even punched me in the nuts while I said ‘it’s just bath time’…. The point isn’t that I wouldn’t rather have Monkey here (because I would) more so than the fact that you guys with normal kids that love to talk about how busy it is, and how you don’t get sleep or get ‘me’ time .. are a bunch of softies. This normal kid parenting isn’t work at all. So hold up with all the patting yourselves on the back…This is like volunteer work at this point.. not hard and mostly just fun and hanging out while I cook and clean here and there.
And before you respond (if you do) if you describe your busy day and it’s obvious it’s because you don’t make your kids listen … Then that’s on you. You actually have a choice to make them mind and you don’t. Normal kids go to bed, eat, take a bath, and get ready when they’re told to do so, and if they don’t… It’s because you suck as a parent. Yep. All the peace-loving, hippie ideas that lead people to say ‘ they just won’t do it’ is why it’s your fault. It took brain damage for me to find a child that ‘won’t listen’. I listen to too many parents whine and moan about parenting as if it wasn’t their choice to have kids… It was. And if you didn’t work for your kids and made them respect you (or if they had a reason to respect you), your day would be easy as hell.
The guy that’s changed diapers for thirteen years on his own.
Yep! I snapped that day. I got out my soap box and I howled to the moon. It didn’t change my day any, but I do think it gave some people perspective on just how much work goes in to each day with a low functioning autistic child. What made me think of it today is just how odd the issues people complain about really are. I mean we’re how many weeks into being upset that football players are kneeling. People still lose their marbles each day because someone cut them off in traffic, or messed up their food order. When I see this stuff I can’t help but think the same thought over and over again. How I wish to have such little stress that I could afford to add such trivial issues from day-to-day. Things that are going to happen again, and won’t matter anymore tomorrow than they do right now. I don’t mean to downplay people’s problems as I stated before, but I think there is a large group of people who can relate. Those who care for loved ones that are ill, survive being victims of attacks, or try to get their own kiddo through another day of being lost and alone in such a busy world. Those who could relate to just how trivial problems are for so many who will never appreciate just how hard it could be.
My intention isn’t to place us daily survivors as martyrs of life itself, but I do think it is worth mentioning that many of the problems in our society are nothing more than a cure for boredom. Because if you had to tend to someone else day after day to such extreme levels you wouldn’t have the time to even realize that football players aren’t standing for the anthem in the first place. Much less the time to care. You’d have better things to worry about like when you can take care of the claw marks on your neck that you received from an incoherently angry child who simply didn’t like getting off the school bus today. I don’t know…. Food for thought.
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